Sunday 14 May 2023

Skirts and Boots.

So I went to my niece's wedding as planned. Here we both are:
Obviously she wins in the fashion stakes there. And it's very nice to see her looking so happy :)

As for me, it didn't actually take much nerve at all. (I mean, I'm nearly 60; why the fuck am I even still thinking about this shit?!) But reactions were interesting in one (or two) respect(s)...

The women (the younger ones anyway) were all: “Ooo, fabulous skirt, where did you get it?” To answer that: from someone called Linda, who makes “gothic victorian steampunk” gear and flogs it on eBay.

The men en masse said nothing. No antipathy, no funny looks (at least that
I noticed), but no comment. Perhaps it's simply that straight men mostly aren't interested in clothes. They were all, as you'd expect, well turned out in their suits and ties. Maybe they felt quite smart wearing them. Or at least properly attired to accompany straight women in an array of spectacular frocks. But I'd guess the guys would be equally – or more – content to dress less formally.

Apart, that is, from famous relative, who wore a white jacket and trousers and fetching yellow scarf.
And who did comment – approvingly with "You've dressed up for the wedding!"

Well, yes. Yes, I have, Ian :)

I've also started using an eyebrow pencil. If anyone's noticed that, they haven't said anything. Perhaps I know too many straight men.


  1. Well, don't both of you look fabulous! I see Uncle is cutting a dash as well.

    "...why the f*** am I even still thinking about this shit?"

    Because, dare I offer, no one wants to look a tit or balls up a family do. For the record, you did neither, and I think it shows a kindness in you.

    Straight and/or cis men may notice, but The Rules may prevent them from talking about it. I mean, discussing fashion? Won't folk think you're interested, 'a poof', odd? Check as concerned 🙄

    Apologies for the ironic use of a slur. BTW, does anyone - except our age 😁 - use that term? Hopefully it's gone.

    "...approvingly with "You've dressed up for the wedding!""

    You. Shall. Not. Ask. 😉

    But it's good to be acknowledged by those who are comfortable in themselves and appreciative of others being the same. IMHO 🙂

    1. Thanks, Lynn. I like what I was wearing as well 🙂

      As to why I'm “still thinking”... Perhaps you're right – and thanks again 🙂

      But it's also because I'm not completely out. What I wear still depends on where I'm going and who I'm with. And I never talk about why I'm wearing what I'm wearing. (And people tend not to ask.) Probably that's because I'm not trusting enough. Probably it's me that's at fault there. I'm not giving people the chance to show their quality.

      No, I'm not sure anyone under a certain age uses “poof” much as a derogatory anymore. Just as a test I googled it for the past year and got very few relevant results. They were mostly about chairs (pouffes) and magic (poof! and it's gone) or (in a similar vein) cleaning – though there were one or two "reclaiming the word" instances as well.

      Actually, I've just noticed a link to a Henry Threadgill (avant-garde jazz) LP titled “Poof”, which also has a track “Poof On Street Called Straight”. Hmmm, I wonder what the motivation was for that.

  2. I'm slowly catching up with Ye Olde Blogosphere after six weeks out of my usual space...

    Now I know your niece encouraged you, but you are coming close there to upstaging the bride, and that would never do!

    Why are you thinking about this still? Because unless you're a total psycho, you care about what other people think, you care to be accepted in society. It's ancestral, evolutionary conditioning because rejection from the group used to mean inability to survive. But we're over tribal life now so if the tribe you are related to don't accept you, find a tribe that does.

    Wishing your niece a lifetime of happiness. And you too!

    Sue x

    1. Thanks, Sue 🙂

      I'm fine within my related tribe though. Whenever I poke my head out of my shell they're either encouraging or just not bothered. Just as well, because finding a new tribe would probably mean conversing with people and I find that I like doing that less and less.

  3. If you don’t mind, I’d like to take a look at There are four sections:

    1- A Wikipedia section which features LGBT people of note. When possible, transgender folks are featured. On Sundays Leeja Miller takes over, with legal blogs.

    2- “Livin’ in Connecticut” is here, with various towns and cities featured. If you live in Connecticut, or know someone who does, please sign the petition.

    3- Transgender news is here. Various newspapers are featured, among others.

    4- Ed Trevors is here. He is an Anglican priest, with a liberal bent. I appreciate him more and more each day. I hope you will too.

    Please leave comments in the blog. Thanks.

    1. Hi Emily.
      Sorry for taking so long to acknowledge your comment. My latest post indicates why: I'd gone AWOL.
      But I'm back now and I'll visit your blog soon.
      J. x