In her post last Friday, ‘The right to bare arms’ (a nice title, reminiscent of Sex and the City's ‘A Woman's Right to Shoes’), Lynn Jones writes about her decision to stop shaving her arms, in case her son, “Wee Man”, should perhaps notice and ask why. On such small concessions and compromises are our lives built. Fortunately, this is not one I have to make myself. My arms are generally hair-free, along with (most of) the rest of me.
I've mentioned before that “my body issues are relatively minor” – and so they are; but body hair accounts for most of them. Body hair depresses me, yet removing it is tedious and time-consuming (on average 20 minutes a day) and requires at least a modicum of energy. Inevitably, when I'm in the dumps, I don't much feel like bothering, but then the unrestrained growth adds to my malaise and perpetuates it. If you see me with obvious body hair, chances are I'm in a slump.
Shaving with an electric razor with maximum ease, I've found, requires it to be done every two days. After three or four days the foil struggles to pick up the ends, making the whole thing more of an ordeal. And if it's got that far, my supply of spoons will probably be at a low ebb too. It's always better if I can keep on top of it.
At the moment I'm clean shaven (apart from my back, which I can't reach – but I can't see it either, so it doesn't matter so much). Being clean shaven both looks better (in my opinion) and feels better. Legs feel nicer. Torso too, especially under silk. Arms can sometimes itch with the wrong clothes, but I prefer how they look hairless – and my hands. (I like my hands anyway.) As for pit hair... in the words of MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko: “Ugh! Yechh! Ugh! Did you ever see anything so unsanitary?”
I hesitate to call this distaste for hair “gender dysphoria”, since it's hardly anything when compared with other trans people's dysphoria. All the same, when I see my body with hair, it just seems wrong. That hair shouldn't be there. It needs to be gone.
Going back to Lynn's post again... No, no one has ever said anything about my shaven arms, either. Do they not notice? Are people too polite to comment on personal grooming? I guess the only way I'd discover the answer to those questions is by asking them, but I probably won't do that. Instead, I'll continue to fight the (futile) fight against body hair by stealth, quietly keeping my own kind of dysphoria – dysphairia – at bay.
Thanks for sharing your story too.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, when you say 'it needs to be gone'. There are times, like this week, in which, as you mention under 'in the dumps', when I just can't be bothered.
Oddly shaving (my face) isn't something I do everyday, except for special outings [wink] or if my beard starts to get a bit trampy. Nicole, at Chams, said something similar. You'd think, that with a loathing of being hairy, that there beard you be the first target.
BTW, what's your view / routine with eyebrows, if I may ask that?
Yes, it's interesting that. No, facial hair doesn't bother me so much either. There have been times when I've let it go for months, until it starts to get really irritating.
ReplyDeleteYes, you may ask about eyebrows. I have been asked about that a few times. Mostly I've just not replied, and no one has pressed the point. But since it's you... ;)
They're shaped – as you can see if you look again at the photo in this post. Actually, they look quite radical to me there. I'm surprised more people don't say something.
Could it be that facial hair is less visible day to day? Barring occasional glimpses of our reflections, that is.
DeleteI'll have to check the web version of your blog, 'cos I'm on a smartphone and the only piccy I can see is Velma. Bless her orange socks :-)
Two (non trans) mates mentioned that their barbers offered an eyebrow trim. Maybe it's old hat, although you and I may be pushing the envelope somewhat. :-) Neither gent is in the Dennis Healey camp, so I wonder if it's not just part of the service. Not that I go to the barbers, except with the kids.
PS: congratulations on being featured on T Central.
DeleteYes, maybe it is because facial hair is less visible. Or that I've just given up on my head features ;)
DeleteAs for shaped eyebrows (and body shaving in general): no indeed, these don't necessarily signify MTF trans any more. They're just as likely – probably much more likely – to be metrosexual traits. Mark Simpson would certainly have something to say about that. But perhaps those guys just shave the torso (and other bits). I'm not sure whether they go in for arms and legs as well.
PS Ooo, featured on T-Central. I hadn't noticed. My first time ever. And my page views are nearly up to 100,000 as well. Blog milestones a plenty. Even if we are basically writing for ourselves, it's nice to know that at least some people are watching.