tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6655985524773081532024-03-13T18:01:39.343+00:00male femmeJonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.comBlogger131125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-9993816385134207682024-02-07T08:05:00.003+00:002024-02-07T09:19:11.451+00:00Thirteen.This blog.<br>
<br>
Today.<br>
<br>
I remembered this time.<br>
<br>
On my early anniversaries I used to write about stats, so...<br>
<br>
<strong>Total page views</strong><br>
As of this precise moment – 281,236<br>
<br>
<strong>Page views per month</strong><br>
Since I'm not writing anything much, PVPM have dropped from an all-time high of 5389 but are still rarely below 1000. Just four occasions in thirteen years: 922, 957, 927 (all Januaries - dunno why) and 577 (September 2022). What happened that month, bots?!?<br>
<br>
<strong>Highest offsite referrals</strong><br>
Google, Reddit, T-Central (thanks, Calie), Twitter (nuts to X, Musk, you bellend), YATGB (thanks, Lynn).<br>
<br>
<strong>Most popular posts</strong><br>
<a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2018/04/straight-male-femme.html">Straight male femme</a><br>
<a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2013/02/in-vision-3-male-bodies-female-clothes_20.html">In vision (3) - male bodies, female clothes</a><br>
<a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2014/10/underdressing.html">Underdressing</a><br>
<a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2012/06/sissies-trannies-and-jeffreys.html">Sissies, Trannies, and Jeffreys</a><br>
<a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2015/01/radical-femme.html">Radical Femme</a><br>
Nice to see my two longest posts in that list. Though of course it doesn't mean people actually read them all the way through. Maybe more words just means more terms to be picked up by a search engine. Regarding which...<br>
<br>
<strong>Search keywords</strong><br>
Nothing too surprising: “male femme”, “genderqueer language”, “femme male”, “femme guys”, and suchlike.<br>
Except for: “site:blogspot.com mother I'd like to fuck language:en”.<br>
Say what?!?!<br>
Googling that myself brings up 46,800 results. Looking at the first few, none seems to have any relevance. I guess if you've ever used the words “mother”, “like”, and “fuck” somewhere, you're going to get flagged by that search – and disappoint the searchers.<br>
Dumping this entire blog in Word and Replacing whole word by nothing (Word then tells you how many times it's done that), I see I've used those particular words 18, 404, and 20 times respectively. 404 seems like an awful lot (error 404).<br>
Some more searches: “femme” 704; “butch” 204; “genderqueer” 63; “transvestite” 53; “non-binary” 62; “trans” 507; “gender” 680; “sex” 194; “woman” 163; “man” 117; “the” 3608; “a” 4064, “and” 3003; “I” 3519;<br>
“me” 578. Fascinating.<br>
<br>
<strong>Number of posts per year</strong><br>
I identify four phases:<br>
Initial enthusiasm (2011-12) – 23, 17<br>
Consolidation (2013-16) – 14, 13, 12, 12<br>
Fatigue (2017-20) – 9, 5, 7, 6<br>
Barely alive (2021-24) – 3, 5, 4, 1 (so far, this one)<br>
<br>
But I'm still here.<br>
<br>
*waves* to anyone still following.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-39762684725519026742023-12-12T09:14:00.000+00:002023-12-12T09:14:37.871+00:00Sixty.Me.<br>
<br>
Today.<br>
<br>
So it's official: I'm no longer middle-aged. I'm now on the last leg of my <a href="https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Psalms-90-10/">threescore years and ten</a>. And if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow. Which raises the question of what to do with them.<br>
<br>
Dedicate myself to good works for the benefit of humanity.<br>
<br>
Sit on the sofa watching TV with a big box of pork rinds, living life to its fullest, as per <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tnmK5YBGrU">Homer J. Simpson</a>.<br>
<br>
Sneak the equivalent of 36 big barrels of gunpowder into the Westminster cellars and raze the edifice of corruption to the ground.<br>
<br>
Get my ears pierced.<br>
<br>
I might do that last one there.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-60420022981826109442023-10-01T15:27:00.001+01:002023-10-01T15:27:21.264+01:00Gone AWOL.I've hardly blogged at all this year. Anywhere. Just twice here. Just twice on my <a href="https://200opengames.blogspot.com/">chess blog</a>. And I'm three months behind on my <a href="https://borritwem.blogspot.com/">buying records blog</a>. I've gone AWOL.<br>
<br>
Meanwhile, I see <a href="https://yatgb.co.uk/">Lynn</a> still blogs every week. Or more. Since 2005. I think her 1000th post was in May. One thousand posts. Respect is due :)<br>
<br>
In a <a href="https://yatgb.co.uk/2023/09/seasons-turning.html">recent one</a>, she flagged the following online thingy:<br>
<br>
<strong>IDR 7 Identities Test</strong><br>
<br>
Okay, I've just done <a href="https://www.idrlabs.com/7-identities/test.php">that</a>.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_bJZgl9kw3yhHBT6iwFs_LWseTfcp_Wr4NakNJ1-KX0GtDgm4FPaiBJ4B7-8LSLb-iWEOSC03xTx1ZtWawdDus-9dlDhyphenhyphen7kgXmxowGc8MJr7dreU17IXkmTYRwD3vAPqGPrN8h3F4LGiFsFsDdqmKXXYlX6EUJ_mZ3l72KoLWmFAN1oZHJ-MxM0wv9Ag/s748/7%20Identities%20Test.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="605" data-original-width="748" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_bJZgl9kw3yhHBT6iwFs_LWseTfcp_Wr4NakNJ1-KX0GtDgm4FPaiBJ4B7-8LSLb-iWEOSC03xTx1ZtWawdDus-9dlDhyphenhyphen7kgXmxowGc8MJr7dreU17IXkmTYRwD3vAPqGPrN8h3F4LGiFsFsDdqmKXXYlX6EUJ_mZ3l72KoLWmFAN1oZHJ-MxM0wv9Ag/s320/7%20Identities%20Test.jpg"/></a></div>
The only result I'd question there is Transgender. Hmmm. 76%. I'm not sure I feel quite so trans. But I guess it all depends how you define it.<br>
<br>
On the other hand, my Gender Fluid and Genderqueer percentages could certainly be higher. I guess they're held back by my not being as public as I feel. I could always work on that. Try and bump up my scores a bit. Enough perhaps to get a badge or a certificate or something.<br>
<br>
Something like this:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRA8eRjbdFAkq11GIN-vklkMrncoRVoyDuTQBZranfvl6CRYrpSK0vadBanJGgMC-P2nyZ0A-0d5kSo9rJ1vjhyphenhyphennhNA1ki48ddr-pHRI3UKI23KQxGv-N_XbZtcDCzJ1QcbX9Gs6uRMSvW8oDt9LkpHmyx7lTkwgTZ8iDNT1QBTKEzNz7h_tP_a_h6Ouo/s2122/avantgarde.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="1406" data-original-width="2122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRA8eRjbdFAkq11GIN-vklkMrncoRVoyDuTQBZranfvl6CRYrpSK0vadBanJGgMC-P2nyZ0A-0d5kSo9rJ1vjhyphenhyphennhNA1ki48ddr-pHRI3UKI23KQxGv-N_XbZtcDCzJ1QcbX9Gs6uRMSvW8oDt9LkpHmyx7lTkwgTZ8iDNT1QBTKEzNz7h_tP_a_h6Ouo/s320/avantgarde.JPG"/></a></div>
With the appropriate warning: “Heteronormative Actions By Holder May Cause Card To Be Revoked.”<br>
<br>
So be careful.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-81434847546419862182023-05-14T10:38:00.006+01:002023-05-14T11:22:45.375+01:00Skirts and Boots.So I went to my niece's wedding as planned. Here we both are:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdcWVBlisGmh-GTG_ZkA-LejUqP-dbTQsKYjbf19Y_YqAm67qQOkDI4dnZJCqGm6VeOhTFO-WMfU46RLqNgFsetAnie84ucbgNN-8swovJryC8DEKGWzX6EAXvNQdFO2r9YstAxci6i5Y_53dMOH7L7-CLugU6MD03b-Cxzm9xCQN9fb_e8D0-JHQm/s2742/wedding1.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="2742" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdcWVBlisGmh-GTG_ZkA-LejUqP-dbTQsKYjbf19Y_YqAm67qQOkDI4dnZJCqGm6VeOhTFO-WMfU46RLqNgFsetAnie84ucbgNN-8swovJryC8DEKGWzX6EAXvNQdFO2r9YstAxci6i5Y_53dMOH7L7-CLugU6MD03b-Cxzm9xCQN9fb_e8D0-JHQm/s320/wedding1.jpg"/></a></div>
Obviously she wins in the fashion stakes there. And it's very nice to see her looking so happy :)<br>
<br>
As for me, it didn't actually take much nerve at all. (I mean, I'm nearly 60; why the fuck am I even still thinking about this shit?!) But reactions were interesting in one (or two) respect(s)...<br>
<br>
The women (the younger ones anyway) were all: “Ooo, fabulous skirt, where did you get it?” To answer that: from someone called Linda, who makes “gothic victorian steampunk” gear and flogs it on <a href="https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/linda1230_1000">eBay</a>.<br>
<br>
The men en masse said nothing. No antipathy, no funny looks (at least that <br>I noticed), but no comment. Perhaps it's simply that straight men mostly aren't interested in clothes. They were all, as you'd expect, well turned out in their suits and ties. Maybe they felt quite smart wearing them. Or at least properly attired to accompany straight women in an array of spectacular frocks. But I'd guess the guys would be equally – or more – content to dress less formally.<br>
<br>
Apart, that is, from famous relative, who wore a white jacket and trousers and fetching yellow scarf.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEfUu70dC3rxDECI4mB_8iGsREUqJYLnlnXTfl0wSjgZ3szFN41HEIlDaltvWlX2A2KF_9dlqqr6F9G_d954EePZJod1becXotTh1t0Ym2L_sh68dQUuo7tiT6MDiMfjxitbh3eLzIeEkm__5mihVQfo4bAr0QP2AZTFtJq4HcKP2eUv-8hRgrAJJQ/s2298/wedding2.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="2298" data-original-width="2069" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEfUu70dC3rxDECI4mB_8iGsREUqJYLnlnXTfl0wSjgZ3szFN41HEIlDaltvWlX2A2KF_9dlqqr6F9G_d954EePZJod1becXotTh1t0Ym2L_sh68dQUuo7tiT6MDiMfjxitbh3eLzIeEkm__5mihVQfo4bAr0QP2AZTFtJq4HcKP2eUv-8hRgrAJJQ/s320/wedding2.jpg"/></a></div>
And who did comment – approvingly with "You've dressed up for the wedding!"<br>
<br>
Well, yes. Yes, I have, Ian :)<br>
<br>
I've also started using an eyebrow pencil. If anyone's noticed that, they haven't said anything. Perhaps I know too many straight men.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-9402364989199399332023-04-14T16:18:00.001+01:002023-05-13T19:47:01.462+01:00Boots. (2)Four months later, I have another new pair of boots. Well, secondhand pair of boots. They were advertised on eBay as “drag queen boots”. I bid on them anyway – a last six seconds sniper's bid – and got them for £5.50 plus p&p. £10.82 all told. Sweet.<br>
<br>
And they fit, which is by no means a given with eBay footwear purchases. Here's what they look like with my <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2022/09/skirts.html">aforementioned</a> skirt.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_iQu8cQ14v7_eJ3umx_IwP2D0MmkoMod2cKWP2I9fZgMvr-1V9va-ZAdxuxpBk4OFosa-nXceG_zzBCkGDrKtAPOSsmV1hYqmTsx6BFoh8w0qDMZZxX6fwCsggQD-DnhuzsHjmc9p50cYJp3NhkIfc-v1sTHOD_wO8grF-USDv70vil-ynpeNt-8h/s3648/boots%20and%20skirt.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="2736" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_iQu8cQ14v7_eJ3umx_IwP2D0MmkoMod2cKWP2I9fZgMvr-1V9va-ZAdxuxpBk4OFosa-nXceG_zzBCkGDrKtAPOSsmV1hYqmTsx6BFoh8w0qDMZZxX6fwCsggQD-DnhuzsHjmc9p50cYJp3NhkIfc-v1sTHOD_wO8grF-USDv70vil-ynpeNt-8h/s320/boots%20and%20skirt.JPG"/></a></div>
Frankly, this post is just an excuse to post that picture – which I like because of the way it's taken: with a small reflected sun where my face should be.<br>
<br>
Now the question is whether I have the nerve to wear boots and skirt to my niece's wedding next month. She'll be disappointed if I don't.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-72153674969736186642022-12-31T19:21:00.000+00:002022-12-31T19:21:23.053+00:00Boots.You keep saying you got something for me. Skirts, check. Tights, check. (What else with skirts?) How about footwear?<br>
<br>
I've already mentioned my humming bird boots, <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2019/08/two-flags.html">once</a> or <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2019/09/compliments-and-whatnot.html">twice</a>. People seem to like these...<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXrudRxjJ1naaRfKXObeL3MF2_sVHEw9TmZO5o3pLLJb1ZXvBwJCKMFmDlXg9qMR-p01WemY-ENXa9e83DGk_HC0q9ZUbt8-BMSpknKimNrg8eh7tnjTuMVjpBmw905oc8upu_uOIIArWUSZStNLYi39SqhRnXyvlPMdL6EO5qpZHxwalpicfC6IHJ/s3648/boots%201.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="2736" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXrudRxjJ1naaRfKXObeL3MF2_sVHEw9TmZO5o3pLLJb1ZXvBwJCKMFmDlXg9qMR-p01WemY-ENXa9e83DGk_HC0q9ZUbt8-BMSpknKimNrg8eh7tnjTuMVjpBmw905oc8upu_uOIIArWUSZStNLYi39SqhRnXyvlPMdL6EO5qpZHxwalpicfC6IHJ/s320/boots%201.JPG"/></a></div>
Now I have a new pair of boots. My youngest niece arranged with her multiple siblings to buy me some DMs for Christmas. She'd mentioned DMs before, and later asked my shoe size, so I was more than half expecting them. But not the colour...<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvNzcYVBoUGE204D8wmbgY9WD6R4jeh7J6CTPuFkledoHOBVCGleIOd2MdZ07bi93Igfu5KhKI0aSh6kkGnPDJPpOAGQriXm9GfeQKGjhm34_z9jWc8xJZc3INc1tdARZ16ks0PcZHq26DD5sfR3I9nLSynoSyaLPBxk8YD_JTqm4FRaYDJkQW0NT6/s3648/boots%203.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="2736" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvNzcYVBoUGE204D8wmbgY9WD6R4jeh7J6CTPuFkledoHOBVCGleIOd2MdZ07bi93Igfu5KhKI0aSh6kkGnPDJPpOAGQriXm9GfeQKGjhm34_z9jWc8xJZc3INc1tdARZ16ks0PcZHq26DD5sfR3I9nLSynoSyaLPBxk8YD_JTqm4FRaYDJkQW0NT6/s320/boots%203.JPG"/></a></div>
Aren't they grand :)<br>
<br>
Sod the whole of last year. 2023 is going to kick. Something or someone.<br>
<br>
Are you ready, boots? Start walking.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-75133865202405245112022-12-11T19:29:00.000+00:002022-12-11T19:29:10.307+00:00Skirts. (2)Yes, most everything is still shit. No change there. However, I've managed to resolve the skirt issue from the <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2022/09/skirts.html">previous post</a>. The one where I was “thinking all the time about wearing skirts.”<br>
<br>
After pondering and perusing the question, considering the possibilities, weighing them up, sifting them through, looking at them from varied angles and perspectives, I finally hit upon a solution.<br>
<br>
Wearing skirts.<br>
<br>
Hardly anyone gives a fuck.<br>
<br>
“I'd probably have to ask my mate first.”<br>
— Wear what you want.<br>
— Okay :)<br>
<br>
Two gigs, two skirts. Two trips into town, two skirts. (I don't get out much.)<br>
<br>
Comments/reactions:<br>
(young woman at gig) — “Great skirt.”<br>
(young man at gig) — “I like your skirt.”<br>
(woman in street) — “Nice skirt.”<br>
(woman in shop) — “Love the skirt.”<br>
(man in street) — “Nice, nice.”<br>
(young girl in lift) — “Ha ha ha.”<br>
<br>
Bah. What do young girls know about anything anyway?Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-70684196685257781772022-09-29T14:27:00.000+01:002022-09-29T14:27:46.560+01:00Skirts.The whole world is going down the fucking toilet. Everything is just <em>shit</em> and it's getting increasingly worse, it seems to me, increasingly. I can't even begin. Shit, shit, every where, nor any way to avoid it. You'll be drinking it whether you will or no.<br>
<br>
From this super happy place, I've found myself thinking a lot about...<br>
<br>
Skirts.<br>
<br>
For instance:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXEvxVosi3O6bKTnrUwtJAoOV2kSQOZ48ViPgit2zwH6teBhysKMu5NLAuo_sEXlWFQ_24XTtv8w3rOidns3_nKwQzXnM8SiJ05yvQlSybiTyCXWwHcgF2jte5W5ApJlVcYPvvzluovO93S9LrmlqwbAY4vtJjH3Y5io_mTpIYdNDKxd05Wv1VfYT/s1062/skirt2.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="1062" data-original-width="935" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXEvxVosi3O6bKTnrUwtJAoOV2kSQOZ48ViPgit2zwH6teBhysKMu5NLAuo_sEXlWFQ_24XTtv8w3rOidns3_nKwQzXnM8SiJ05yvQlSybiTyCXWwHcgF2jte5W5ApJlVcYPvvzluovO93S9LrmlqwbAY4vtJjH3Y5io_mTpIYdNDKxd05Wv1VfYT/s320/skirt2.jpg"/></a></div>
Isn't that gorgeous! Who wouldn't want to wear a skirt like that? Even if it won't look quite so good on you. Or me.<br>
<br>
Nevertheless:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge4kd6-gbJHiGoSUoCQQPeaOrCcbAw6XmoY38f0U51sPmGtzfXlv2Yol-cg-9RmQ0wML9U3MDW8FSF7xWtueVUXsv9KrJh8iGNDTOcZeGDYvs6x0tZGth_S4sJo_OXMuOn_LjtjQk0wHRAeNWCaa1_541RdUNFQmsIkLqYDfg9RrCjinllB0ReZPo7/s2548/skirt%2006.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: left; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="2548" data-original-width="1076" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge4kd6-gbJHiGoSUoCQQPeaOrCcbAw6XmoY38f0U51sPmGtzfXlv2Yol-cg-9RmQ0wML9U3MDW8FSF7xWtueVUXsv9KrJh8iGNDTOcZeGDYvs6x0tZGth_S4sJo_OXMuOn_LjtjQk0wHRAeNWCaa1_541RdUNFQmsIkLqYDfg9RrCjinllB0ReZPo7/s320/skirt%2006.JPG"/></a></div>
Now I just need an occasion to wear it out. My youngest niece has suggested her wedding. Maybe :)<br>
<br>
The last time I wore a skirt out was twelve weeks ago at the NTU Gender Matters conference. Finn Mackay was the <a href="https://twitter.com/NTUSocPol/status/1544700058226114565">keynote speaker</a>, so presenting femme by wearing a skirt – a long purple one, paired with a they/them/theirs t-shirt in non-binary colours – seemed the least I could do. To show solidarity with my butch sibling as it were.<br>
<br>
Now I'm thinking about wearing skirts all the time.<br>
<br>
That is to say: I'm thinking all the time about wearing skirts. Or even both. There's a punk gig coming up on Saturday. I could wear my new skirt to that. And there's another gig on Thursday. I'd probably have to ask my mate first. Would it bother you if I wear a skirt? Maybe.<br>
<br>
In the words of the song: I don't have any reasons. I've left them all behind. I'm in a new skirt state of mind.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-48944463332881143002022-06-23T08:38:00.000+01:002022-06-23T08:38:23.292+01:00Style.There was a piece in <em><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2022/mar/08/i-went-from-basic-to-flamboyant-overnight-the-people-who-transformed-their-style-in-their-50s-60s-and-70s">The Guardian</a></em> a few months back: “‘I went from basic to flamboyant overnight!’ The people who transformed their style – in their 50s, 60s and 70s”.<br>
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It's subheaded: “Growing older can mean getting bolder – so why shouldn’t this be reflected in our clothes? Meet four people who refuse to blend into the background”. I don't know about “getting bolder”. I think it's more an increasing feeling of “I really couldn't give a shit”.<br>
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<em>When I am an old woman I shall wear purple.</em><br>
<br>
The person with the style I most like there is Arlinda McIntosh (64, New Jersey): “The clothes I wanted to wear didn’t exist, so I started making these big celebratory skirts, some with trains, so I could bring joy to my appearance.” Right. Especially as the cross-dresser's "traditional" short skirt has never done it for me. I prefer to be covered up. And big celebratory skirts seem just the way. Skirts with a lot of material. Skirts that flounce. Skirts that swish and swirl. Mmm, yes.<br>
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Style-wise anyway. Word-wise I'm with Phil Grosset (51, York), who now identifies as non-binary: “I choose things that I think look nice and make me feel good without worrying about what gender they’re marketed at. Clothes that are marketed to women have so much more choice in their patterns, colours and fabrics – it’s made me addicted to colour.” Patterns, colours, fabrics. Mmm, yes.<br>
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Maybe I should turn this into a fashion blog.<br>
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On which note, I note that McIntosh runs her own label, <a href="https://sofistafunk.com/">Sofistafunk</a>, where “the voluminous Skirt reins Supreme and all else is an accessory to It”. The ‘<a href="https://sofistafunk.com/collections/the-gathering/products/a-long-gathering-redirect">A Long Gathering</a>’ skirts are my favourites, if a bit out of my price range. Then again, if I can spend £900 on a great bass recorder...Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-45135468971008407672022-02-14T14:54:00.000+00:002022-02-14T14:54:12.606+00:00Eleven years....last Tuesday. That is, since my first post on 7th February 2011. One year I'm going to remember.<br>
<br>
Looking back at those early posts – from the first three years, culminating <br>in <em><a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.co.uk/2018/04/straight-male-femme.html">Straight Male Femme</a></em> (published here in 2018) – everything seems so earnest and important. And I suppose it was. I started this very much as a blog about cross-dressing: a <em>big thing</em> in my life that I needed to work through and explain, most of all to myself.<br>
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Now?<br>
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I've not exactly reached the stage that “they're not women's clothes, they're my clothes”, as Eddie Izzard once put it. (Indeed, I'm not sure Eddie is at that stage any longer.) It's still significant to me that everything I buy is off the women's racks. I've still haven't learned – or even tried – to present as femme in clothes from the other side of the store. I never even <em>look</em> at the other side of the store.<br>
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Perhaps that's just laziness. It's a lot easier to get stuff off the women's racks. Go out – or, more often, go online – pick up a nice fluffy jumper, or furry coat, or pink jeans, or cute trainers, or...<br>
<br>
Um, vest check, gun check, clip one check, clip two check, I'm set.<br>
<br>
If anybody ever asks... But they never do.<br>
<br>
In any case, a question that concerns me more now is: will I still be around in another eleven years? And if so, where? :/Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-82442550704395840682021-12-31T14:26:00.007+00:002021-12-31T15:09:43.751+00:00Butch Voices.One thing that's been missing from my life for ... what seems like ages ... is butch voices. That is, the thoughts and experiences of butches: cis butches, queer butches, non-binary butches, trans butches. Although I identify as femme, when I read or hear from other femmes there's often some adjustment required. In order to relate, I have to tweak it a little. Whereas with butches there's an almost direct correlation, such that I find myself nodding constantly in agreement. So it's been a solace to see butch voices surface again recently.<br>
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Significantly, first of all, in Dr. Finn Mackay's important book ‘<a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/female-masculinities-and-the-gender-wars-9780755606634/">Female Masculinities and the Gender Wars</a>’, which they wrote largely because they felt that butch voices were going unheard. The book expands on their original (2017) research into lesbian and queer masculinities, which I've referenced before (<a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2019/03/eighth-anniversary.html">see here</a>).<br>
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Another apparent aim was to disentangle radical feminism from its trans-exclusionary associations. As Finn shows, radical feminism is <em>not</em> inherently trans-hostile or transphobic. Indeed, and for what its worth, a lot of my own views on gender – re gender-based oppression, gender roles, gender stereotyping, and so forth – are derived substantially from radical feminism. I think we're natural allies. As Finn makes clear:<br>
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“<em>Trans women are women is the answer to the question of whether trans women are women, but it isn't the only question we need to ask. The tragedy is that sides are being fought for at all, by communities which should have no sides, because we all share a greater enemy, and that is the forces of racist right-wing nationalism seeking to impose reactionary sex and gender conservatism on everyone.</em>”<br>
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Less academically, Ella Braidwood has written about... ‘<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/24/a-moment-that-changed-me-the-haircut-that-liberated-me-as-a-butch-lesbian">A moment that changed me: The haircut that liberated me as a butch lesbian</a>’. Click the link for the whole thing. Here I'd just like to highlight:<br>
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“<em>I found inspiration in transgender and non-binary people, too, including several drag kings in London, where I now live. I disagree with claims that transgender and non-binary people erase or threaten my identity as a butch lesbian and a cisgender woman. Conversely, they have been a massive source of strength to me, particularly in terms of living authentically.</em>”<br>
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Ah, that's so nice to read. Not least because Ella's feelings are very much reciprocated. Butch lesbians have been a massive source of strength to me too, particularly in terms of living authentically. Also:<br>
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“<em>Pressuring people who don’t want to conform to gender stereotypes doesn’t change them. It damages them. My haircut helped to liberate me. I just wish I had felt able to do it years ago.</em>”<br>
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“I just wish I had felt able to do it years ago.” I'm guessing many of us could say the same. Please visualize a *friends* emoji. Or, should you prefer, some seasonal sentiment:<br>
<br>
And there's a hand, my trusty fiere!<br>
And gie's a hand o' thine!<br>
And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught,<br>
For auld lang syne.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-64417725170317822212021-09-27T11:23:00.006+01:002021-11-09T13:20:18.323+00:00Eight months later.Well, I've finally finished my book and it will be out in January. This is what it will look like:<br>
<br>
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uwjP0mAI72Y/YVGVm5zHrYI/AAAAAAAABPE/O8ZjFFzuQnApjHWYKZDUoGn8Bdyix0AUQCLcBGAsYHQ/s517/ADOR.bmp" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uwjP0mAI72Y/YVGVm5zHrYI/AAAAAAAABPE/O8ZjFFzuQnApjHWYKZDUoGn8Bdyix0AUQCLcBGAsYHQ/s517/ADOR.bmp" width="227" height="320" data-original-width="367" data-original-height="517" /></a><br>
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As you'll notice, it's a chess book. It has nothing to do with gender. And yet...<br>
<br>
About the author: ‘<em>They have been investigating and writing about opening theory for over 30 years.</em>’<br>
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Yes, that's “they have” not “he has”. Right.<br>
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Similarly, unless referring to someone specifically gendered, I use neutral pronouns throughout. No “he or she” nonsense. Just “they” and “their”, and even “themself”. Because why the fuck wouldn't I do that?!<br>
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Furthermore, the book ‘<em>is based to a large extent on my own investigations and practice</em>’, so I reference a lot of my own games, including those played online – where I mostly use the handle “tsmenace” (and have been doing since I started playing online in 2004). As I explain in the Introduction: ‘<em>Other instances of “tsmenace” online are </em>not<em> me, though the source is likely to be the same, and I still have the t-shirt.</em>’ Readers here, if not there, may already recognize that source...<br>
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From <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Transexual_Menace">Wikipedia</a>: ‘<em>The Transexual Menace </em>(...)<em> was a transgender rights activist organization founded in New York City in 1993. It was the first direct action group of its kind, and grew to be a national organisation with 24 chapters.</em>’ My t-shirt adds the words: “Great British Chapter”. I got it from <a href="http://www.pfc.org.uk/">PFC</a> back in the day.<br>
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Damn, that seems a lifetime ago. Do we even use the term “transsexual” any more? It's a long time since I wore the t-shirt too – I keep it in a drawer as a souvenir – but when I did, the reactions were... entertaining. I never, as you might think, got any actual abuse. Instead, I saw people's eyes drift expressionlessly down to my chest and then back up again. I stared expressionlessly back. But that was back then. In the current trans-hostile climate I probably <em>would</em> get abuse. It'll be interesting to see whether there's any response to any of this once the book comes out.<br>
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Those last two words are apposite because the book is a sort-of coming out too, in that it puts my gender issues into the public domain. Albeit a tiny part thereof and only incidentally. After all, it is a chess book.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-83105939137235528412021-02-01T12:29:00.003+00:002021-02-01T16:10:26.354+00:00Lockdown #2Or is it #3 now? I'm finding it hard to tell. I'm also finding this one much harder than the <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2020/06/lockdown.html">last</a>.<br>
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Again, my life has hardly changed really. I still sit at home at the computer all day. But I'm now doing less and less while sitting there.<br>
<br>
I'm still writing a book. Or rather, <em>should</em> be writing a book. I'm doing that less and less too. Early morning walks are out because it's dark, cold, very often wet, and the bunnies are probably all asleep underground anyway. I'm still practising the recorder on and off.<br>
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I've bought a few things courtesy of <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2020/11/facebook.html">Facebook</a> advertising. None of the stuff in my post. All from the store mentioned in the comments, including (since the link there has gone dead) one of these:<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-t6RxEMPBFQk/YBfscXESCUI/AAAAAAAABJU/LhcqWgvESZkh7ch4Dqu3ARA6pAlxA6nlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s567/dress.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="567" data-original-width="428" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-t6RxEMPBFQk/YBfscXESCUI/AAAAAAAABJU/LhcqWgvESZkh7ch4Dqu3ARA6pAlxA6nlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s567/dress.jpg"/></a><br>
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Fabulous. Who knows when I'll get the chance to wear it.<br>
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But the main event this time has been taking photos of the River Trent, from Gunthorpe Bridge to Torksey Lock and Littleborough, in various types of light and states of flood. I can't really see what I'm doing; the viewing screen is too small. I just point the camera in the right sort of direction and <em>click</em>. But that's the beauty of digital cameras. You can take as many pictures as you like. Some of them are bound to turn out okay.<br>
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Check my <a href="https://twitter.com/malefemme">Twitter</a> account for an ongoing selection if you want, and if you can bear to scroll through the rest of the junk to find them. They go back to 22nd August 2020. For those who can't be bothered, these are perhaps my four favourites:<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BqMSTeNcb0I/YBftMytZBDI/AAAAAAAABJc/GtUgZ6VOhBc_xkofqjfzzptDnfRwgACKwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-torkseylock-9.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="1563" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BqMSTeNcb0I/YBftMytZBDI/AAAAAAAABJc/GtUgZ6VOhBc_xkofqjfzzptDnfRwgACKwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-torkseylock-9.JPG"/></a><br>
Torksey Lock (7th November 2020)<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Tny5DyksRnU/YBftjCYZhgI/AAAAAAAABJk/mEEwVHlm4UQ0petkrPkew2BL75so5HbpgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-hazelford-4.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Tny5DyksRnU/YBftjCYZhgI/AAAAAAAABJk/mEEwVHlm4UQ0petkrPkew2BL75so5HbpgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-hazelford-4.JPG"/></a><br>
Hazelford Ferry (12th November 2020)<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1U5HSyt0-qg/YBft489wn4I/AAAAAAAABJs/fLL0xBazCQ4STPjcSVED3nnDKXsxD9twACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-dunhamlakes-1-4.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="1222" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1U5HSyt0-qg/YBft489wn4I/AAAAAAAABJs/fLL0xBazCQ4STPjcSVED3nnDKXsxD9twACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-dunhamlakes-1-4.JPG"/></a><br>
Dunham Lakes (2nd January 2021)<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YbSMg5H4RxM/YBfyRAx6OuI/AAAAAAAABJ4/eGYxTd4H2o8fLApI6CpRkgackoFO0mw1ACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-carltonontrent-1-3.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="1584" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YbSMg5H4RxM/YBfyRAx6OuI/AAAAAAAABJ4/eGYxTd4H2o8fLApI6CpRkgackoFO0mw1ACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/trent-carltonontrent-1-3.JPG"/></a><br>
Carlton-on-Trent (18th January 2021)<br>
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The third is my current desktop wallpaper :)<br>
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But seriously, <em>fuck</em> the Tories.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-36474308285393242792020-11-29T12:22:00.006+00:002020-11-30T07:52:46.093+00:00Facebook.I don't like Facebook. I don't like how it operates. I don't like its governance, its political manipulation, its privacy policies. I don't like Mark Zuckerberg. I especially don't like its new interface. But I'm on there anyway because it's the only social media that keeps me in contact with people I never see or hear from otherwise, and to leave would mean not being in contact with them at all. Thus do FB suck you in and trap you.<br>
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They've also just given me an account warning for hate speech. Commenting on the differences between English and American punctuation, specifically on whether to place a comma inside or outside quote marks, I concluded – as a copy editor who thinks US grammatical rules on this point are silly – by saying: “Stupid Americans.” (Note that, US grammarians. The full stop is <em>inside</em> the quote marks here because I'm quoting <em>what I actually wrote</em>. If there'd been no full stop in the original, it should <em>of course</em> go <em>outside</em> the quote marks.) It seems FB regard calling Americans stupid as hate speech. Stupid Americans.<br>
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But there <em>is</em> something. Facebook lives from onsite advertising and likes to personalize that to each user according to... whatever criteria they use. Presumably they auto-trawl your posts, your comments, your likes, what advertising you actually click on, your groups, your pages, your friends, put tracking cookies on your computer, and so forth. I think there's a setting where you can turn this off. I must have done that at some stage because I used to get all sorts of irrelevant sponsored junk. When I ever took any notice of it, it was merely in order to click “Hide”.<br>
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Recently, there's been a change there. Possibly FB activated personalization again without telling me, because they seem to have refined what they send my way. Now I do get targeted advertising – and of just one type: women's clothing and accessories. That's it. Nothing else whatsoever.<br>
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For instance:<br>
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Aavhau6y36w/X8SirV4jKuI/AAAAAAAABGk/cCCRNiqy2EAXattuZjBlz9ElcQbF86-TQCLcBGAsYHQ/s548/advert02.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="548" data-original-width="500" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Aavhau6y36w/X8SirV4jKuI/AAAAAAAABGk/cCCRNiqy2EAXattuZjBlz9ElcQbF86-TQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/advert02.jpg"/></a>
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0bJ6itENLyo/X8SiwhZJJZI/AAAAAAAABGo/DaQkoV1sznA4jgPTC4Nqb5bEPVGGZIHUwCLcBGAsYHQ/s558/advert10.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="558" data-original-width="498" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0bJ6itENLyo/X8SiwhZJJZI/AAAAAAAABGo/DaQkoV1sznA4jgPTC4Nqb5bEPVGGZIHUwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/advert10.jpg"/></a>
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJnJ1tu_xZw/X8Si1VEgTFI/AAAAAAAABGs/ERMCVtMZouIgJKiS1Q01ROrevDvQnCAzACLcBGAsYHQ/s497/advert08.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="492" data-original-width="497" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJnJ1tu_xZw/X8Si1VEgTFI/AAAAAAAABGs/ERMCVtMZouIgJKiS1Q01ROrevDvQnCAzACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/advert08.jpg"/></a>
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lNU-9tmjd_U/X8Si5mODbYI/AAAAAAAABGw/SAsjKUlzaIcxIJr6ENUw0VnJwKJC8ROOQCLcBGAsYHQ/s559/advert12.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="559" data-original-width="495" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lNU-9tmjd_U/X8Si5mODbYI/AAAAAAAABGw/SAsjKUlzaIcxIJr6ENUw0VnJwKJC8ROOQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/advert12.jpg"/></a><br>
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Those harem pants do look very comfortable. I could certainly go for the round neck velvety top. I love those patterned tights. Nice shawl too.<br>
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Have I bought anything? No, I haven't. Am I going to alter my advertising settings again? No, I'm not.<br>
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Okay, FB, score one to you.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-70866030680208177102020-10-15T17:10:00.003+01:002020-11-29T13:03:57.419+00:00Labels.Labels are useful things, <em>human</em> things even, given our propensity to classify everything, including ourselves. It's good to be able to say “this is me”, and to have a place to stand, both alone and with others, all sorted out in your own mind – until you change it again.<br>
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Labels are annoying things too, <em>oppressive</em> things. In that they often carry baggage, a set of possible assumptions and interpretations which may not, very likely <em>do not</em>, apply. Yes, this is me. Yes, I am <em>this</em>. No, that does not mean <em>that</em>. The title on the cover reveals little about the whole book, not even, necessarily, what shelf to put it on.<br>
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So I can sort of understand people who say: “I'm not a label, I'm just me.” Intellectually, that is. Emotionally, I'm inclined to impose a label on them anyway: “Prat”.<br>
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Why am I thinking about labels again? Because of today's date. Over the years, I've adopted/adapted/discarded numerous labels but can't usually pinpoint when from. For example:<br>
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<em>Transvestite</em> — Going right back to teenage years in the 1970s. Almost quaintly old-fashioned now, but I have a nostalgic fondness for it.<br>
<em>Genderqueer</em> — Some time in the 1990s. My favourite. I've never stopped using this one.<br>
<em>Trans</em> — 1990s again. More of a political affiliation really, <em>with</em> the trans community, albeit while hanging about on the borders.<br>
<em>Femme</em> — Probably 2006; exactly when I'm not sure. I do know where: by the window in the bar of the Chameleon Club, Nottingham.<br>
<em>Non-binary</em> — I've gone back and forth on this since the 2010s. Maybe.<br>
<em>Sissy</em> — 15th October 2019. For no obvious reason or purpose I made a note of the date.<br>
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And yet today is a year on from then. Which makes me a one-year-old sissy. I thought I should buy myself a card ;)<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oCiBoahehEY/X4hspoVFaoI/AAAAAAAAA_k/xcAW_E92rsEGyAI6atju5mxejRe3JfoWQCLcBGAsYHQ/s498/birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oCiBoahehEY/X4hspoVFaoI/AAAAAAAAA_k/xcAW_E92rsEGyAI6atju5mxejRe3JfoWQCLcBGAsYHQ/s498/birthday.jpg" width="224" height="320" data-original-width="349" data-original-height="498" /></a>Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-70356609798416914042020-09-28T18:49:00.002+01:002020-10-15T16:47:51.300+01:00Femboy.Regularly, intermittently, once a month perhaps, I do an online search for numerous (currently 42) terms and topics related to femme and butch. It's time consuming, and Google protests:<br>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yxl65Y5zBwM/X3IFPBx7tCI/AAAAAAAAA-E/AUmbfKn8keEmMI-_EaOa_Rn1E6Xh9aJ2QCLcBGAsYHQ/s452/unusual%2Btraffic.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yxl65Y5zBwM/X3IFPBx7tCI/AAAAAAAAA-E/AUmbfKn8keEmMI-_EaOa_Rn1E6Xh9aJ2QCLcBGAsYHQ/s452/unusual%2Btraffic.jpg" width="320" height="188" data-original-width="452" data-original-height="265" /></a><br>
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Clicking that box once in a while is not too irksome. I grumble when Google goes further and makes you click more boxes, containing: a car, a traffic light, a fire hydrant. And the pictures are never very clear. Grumble.<br>
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One term I've generally omitted is “femboy” because it always linked to a lot of porn. But it seems I've thereby missed something, since a search last Sunday for “femme men” brought up this:<br>
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“<em>Femme men have held space online for years now (Reddit’s /r/feminineboys forum has nearly 70k members since starting in 2012). However, they’ve become more visible than ever on TikTok. #FemboyFriday has become a popular weekly theme with over 158.3m views on the platform</em>”.<br>
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That extracts from <a href="https://www.standard.co.uk/insider/living/femboyfriday-tiktok-femboys-femme-men-a4533051.html">an article</a> in the <em>Evening Standard</em> no less, which shows I'm really behind the curve here.<br>
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“<em>One of the biggest unifiers among femme boys is that they proudly incorporate feminine clothing into their wardrobes with strong ties to the LGBT community. Beyond that, they’re a diverse group, made up of people with different gender identities, sexualities and more.</em>”<br>
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Ooo, I'd like to be part of that — if I was forty years younger. It's a bit late in the day for me to be a femboy now. Another salutary lesson on not letting your youth go to waste.<br>
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But I note the headline: “Why #FemboyFriday is more than just a trend”. Initially a queer thing, the #femboyfriday hashtag has since been taken on by young straight cis guys, for whom clothes are just something to wear, referencing Kurt Cobain and Harry Styles.<br>
<br>
Seth Williams says: “<em>I don’t think that there is anything wrong with cishet men experimenting with their self expression. However, people need to be cognizant of the fact that our identities aren’t a ‘trend’ and that this is who we are. Amongst my circle, I’ve noticed that more discernibly or openly queer men receive much more hate. Our community has been fighting gender norms for years, so we should get the same appreciation as our cishet counterparts</em>.”<br>
<br>
He's being generous there, I think, given that this seems like yet another instance of queer culture being colonized by come-lately straight people, who neither understand nor care about its roots and history. Queer <em>Black</em> culture being colonized by straight <em>white</em> people.<br>
<br>
In quiet protest Seth also uses the hashtag #FemboyEveryday. On video, Marc Sebastian stares you in the eye and says: “<em>I'm just here to let you know that femboy style isn't really a trend. You just think it is because straight white boys are doing it now.</em>”<br>
<br>
Quite. Well, not quite quite. Some straight white boys have been doing it for years too.<br>
<br>
As Judd Anderson says: “<em>People have been presenting themselves more femme for a long time but were constantly hated on and bullied. (...) The more people see it and see positivity coming from everyone it’ll make more people who’ve wanted to express themself in a more femme manner finally do it and not have to be worried about getting hate for the clothes they wear or how they want to present themself.</em>”<br>
<br>
Okay, I'm itching to query Judd's use of “femme” there. Does he <em>mean</em> femme or just “feminine”? They're not the same thing. Mumble - straight - mumble - ignorance - mumble - queer culture - mumble - mumble. Except who am I to question what Judd knows or doesn't know? Certainly a lot more than I did at that age. Or even twenty years past that age. He's even using a “themself” pronoun formulation. Respect.<br>
<br>
Respect to <em>everyone</em> on the #femboy hashtag. If still more to those who are actually femme. And more still to Kevin Ninh for sheer flawlessness.
Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-39058244341227002652020-06-01T07:17:00.000+01:002020-06-01T09:47:27.468+01:00Lockdown.So how's it been for you?<br />
<br />
Me, my life has hardly changed at all. Before lockdown I sat at home at the computer all day. During lockdown I've sat at home at the computer all day. After lockdown, I'll be sitting... where I'm sitting right now.<br />
<br />
And I've been feeling as femme <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2019/12/floating-in-femme.html">as ever</a>. Shopping-wise that has manifested in a few eBay purchases, including another furry coat (ex Dorothy Perkins) and a pair of rainbow trainers (designed by Miley Cyrus no less). Sweet.<br />
<br />
I've also been writing a book. And going for <em>early</em> morning walks to see the bunnies. And practising the recorder.<br />
<br />
But the main event of lockdown has been watching my pageviews go up.<br> The current total is down right somewhere. Here's an up here posterity screenshot:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RY-o-tUmy1c/XtSWl-mFUHI/AAAAAAAAA2M/L564QXpFl9orHjpjK_rzbb0SdS583H4AQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/pageviews.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RY-o-tUmy1c/XtSWl-mFUHI/AAAAAAAAA2M/L564QXpFl9orHjpjK_rzbb0SdS583H4AQCLcBGAsYHQ/s200/pageviews.jpg" width="160" height="103" data-original-width="155" data-original-height="100" /></a><br />
<br />
As you'll notice, they're approaching the 200,000 mark. What I'd <em>really</em> like is to see them clock round from 199,999. Watch as all the 9s turn into 0s, as we used to do with the old mechanical mileometers in cars. Small childhood pleasures. Digital technology is no fun.<br />
<br />
Grumble.<br />
<br />
Oh, and fuck the Tories.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-70164019694722187002020-03-31T16:45:00.000+01:002020-03-31T16:45:06.305+01:00Being ourselves.It's TDOV today – apparently – the International Trans Day of Visibility. That's nice; although being visible when we're all in coronavirus lockdown does pose a challenge or two. I could perhaps stand at the front door and shout at the sporadic passers-by. Or perhaps not.<br />
<br />
Instead, I'll flag <a href="https://raisingmyrainbow.com/2020/02/20/gender-is-over/">a post</a> from last month by C.J., the hero of Lori Duron's blog <em><a href="https://raisingmyrainbow.com/">Raising My Rainbow</a></em> (and who I <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/halloween.html">mentioned</a> back in 2016).<br />
<br />
C.J. is now thirteen, very visible, and absolutely knows what's what:<br />
<br />
‘<em>For as long as I can remember, I’ve liked all the stuff in the “pink aisles.” I’ve always known I’m different. I’ve always known that I’m not a “typical boy.” And, I’ve never really cared that I’m different. There is no part of me – not even a single part – that wants to be a “typical boy.” The thought of having to play baseball or wear boys’ clothes makes me cringe with sadness. It makes me feel like I’d be forced to do something I don’t want to do. Kids shouldn’t be forced to be something or someone who they aren’t. Kids should be able to be themselves.</em>’<br />
<br />
Yes, indeed. A hundred times indeed.<br />
<br />
My own blog has, to a large degree, been about me working things through. Now I look back at older posts and they make me smile, wryly or wistfully as appropriate, seeing myself struggling with myself, with problematic issues of identity, theory and language. And yet, take away the need for justification and there's nothing very difficult about any of this.<br />
<br />
People should be able to be themselves.<br />
<br />
Quite so. And when – <em>if</em> – you've made it as far as that, C.J. has further straightforward wisdom for you:<br />
<br />
‘<em>If I can see a way to make life better and easier for gender creative people, I always try to do it. Being kind, sticking up for others and not being a jerk. That’s what life is all about.</em>’<br />
<br />
And yes, I could certainly work on all those too.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-72366835596198341072020-02-07T15:55:00.000+00:002020-02-07T15:57:58.077+00:00Sissy.“male femme” — my blog title says.<br />
“genderqueer femme” — my profile says.<br />
“non-binary femme” — <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPcLy_Z225M">Jam Rostron</a> says.<br />
“sissy femme” — Jacob Tobia says.<br />
<br />
Actually: sissy <em>comma</em> femme. That is: “sissy, femme, queer, and proud”, the title of a chapter in Jacob's book: ‘<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/073521882X/">Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story</a>’. I've reduced it to “sissy femme” because... well, just because I wanted to add it to that list. I like lists.<br />
<br />
But the key word this time isn't “femme”, it's <em>sissy</em>, which is a label I've been trying on for size lately. I've even got the t-shirt:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fTTxU560iQo/Xj2AhEYmyRI/AAAAAAAAAqo/5cJnw0NFm5gT3YuN3bNDuxmd-XxUwZGKQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/sissytshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fTTxU560iQo/Xj2AhEYmyRI/AAAAAAAAAqo/5cJnw0NFm5gT3YuN3bNDuxmd-XxUwZGKQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/sissytshirt.jpg" width="320" height="320" data-original-width="550" data-original-height="550" /></a><br />
<br />
As with all reclaimed words, there's a proper <em>fuck off</em> quality to it. <br />
Sissy as in fuck off – channelling “femme as in fuck you” (if you know that expression?)<br />
<br />
It also has multiple connotations, something Jacob alludes to in their book:<br />
<br />
<em>I used to think that my gender was a voyage that needed a destination, but as I've gotten older, I've come to embrace that my gender is more like an onion. It doesn't have a center, a core, a discernable middle. It's layer upon layer upon layer, veiled beneath a thin skin. Sometimes the act of peeling apart the layers (...) can make your eyes sting. (...) But each layer is meaningful, and with enough time and proper preparation, each layer is delicious.</em><br />
<br />
In other words, our genders are often plural, revealed slowly and delicately, rather than being fixed and singular.<br />
<br />
And I like another of Jacob's metaphors:<br />
<br />
<em>When a person hides in The Closet, we act as if it is their responsibility to come out. But when a snail hides in its shell, we don't delegate responsibility the same way. A snail only hides in its shell because the world outside feels hostile. If a snail recoils at the sight of you, it's not because the snail is cowardly or lying or deviant or withholding, it's because you've scared it.</em><br />
<br />
That instead of a closet we're obliged to escape, we have ornate shells for our required protection, usually ones we've grown from childhood. Yes, a snail may well be happier shuffling along with its head out. That doesn't mean it wants to discard the shell entirely and be a slug. So I'll keep my shell too, thanks.<br />
<br />
Btw, it's my ninth blog anniversary today. Hello. I'm Jonathan. I'm a sissy :)Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-90577190927498919112019-12-31T14:19:00.001+00:002019-12-31T15:05:40.116+00:00Floating in femme.I've blogged before about <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.com/2011/10/femme-tides.html">femme tides</a>. The notion that femme feelings tend to ebb and flow. Sometimes they sit there quietly in the background; at other times they're full on, screaming, front and centre. At the moment mine are very much full on, having been building since last September. Rather than a mere tide, even a high or spring tide, this is a <em>flood</em>.<br />
<br />
“The same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened. ... And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days. ... [Then] the rain from heaven was restrained. And the waters returned from off the earth continually ... And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month ... And in the second month [thereafter] ... was the earth dried.”<br />
<br />
Adding that up: 150 days is five months; then the rain abated and the flood retreated for five more months, with a further two months for everything to return to normal. In total, a whole goddamn year. So if this biblical analogy holds any water (:p), my own femme deluge will keep on rising well into February, and then take to next September to dissipate.<br />
<br />
I don't think it's possible for me to swim for that long. I'm going to have to find some way of <em>floating</em> in femme in 2020. Or risk drowning in it.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-12579787565437597162019-09-29T20:04:00.000+01:002019-09-30T16:34:11.434+01:00Compliments and whatnot.Surprising as it may seem, I do occasionally get people criticizing my clothing choices. They tend to use helpful and insightful terms like “wanker” or make the equivalent hand gesture out of a car window. Those people are always cis men. But far more often I receive compliments – mostly from cis women – and randomly. In the street, in shops, in the pub, on the bus, ...<br />
<br />
My pink trainers (seen <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.com/2019/05/feeling-invisible.html">here</a>) prompt a fair few comments. Once, a rather inebriated woman came up to me at the bus stop to tell me, for some considerable time, how great they were, how great I was for wearing them, and how much she missed her gay male friend in her home town of Kettering. My painted boots, decorated with humming birds, are much admired too – if, again, not by cis men, who prefer pointedly not to say anything about my footwear. I just watch their eyes go down to my feet and then come back up. Perhaps heels would excite them more.<br />
<br />
My variously furred and furry coats I've mentioned before – and with photos, some with me in, some not: <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.com/2017/04/more-on-clothes.html">long denim</a>, <a href="https://yatgb.blogspot.com/p/our-different-journey.html#Jonathan">long afghan</a>, <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.com/2016/06/not-writing.html">short purple</a>, <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.com/2014/11/stop-our-silences.html">shaggy dog</a>. That's only half my collection, by the way. All thanks to eBay and charity shops.<br />
<br />
But it's my jumpers that seem to garner the most approval. These include: <br />
a multi-coloured (orange/brown/black) mohair polo neck; a green mohair crew neck with a sequined butterfly (my eldest niece likes this especially); and three I bought from <em><a href="https://www.icecoolfashion.com/super-soft-fluffy-knit-crew-neck-jumper-26807-p.asp">icecoolfashion</a></em>. I have the red one pictured there, plus the same in blue (visible <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.com/2018/07/fourth-pride.html">here</a>) and black. They <em>are</em> really quite nice. A friendly checkout assistant in the local Co-op said she'd tracked down a similar one for herself after seeing me in one of mine.<br />
<br />
And now I've ordered this:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ffq_fOEVrKo/XZCRBxA6AOI/AAAAAAAAApQ/JfZeU2kM7kkHJh8_V2o5W2kAkiz_qxPFwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/furryjumper.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ffq_fOEVrKo/XZCRBxA6AOI/AAAAAAAAApQ/JfZeU2kM7kkHJh8_V2o5W2kAkiz_qxPFwCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/furryjumper.jpg" width="267" height="400" data-original-width="1066" data-original-height="1600" /></a><br />
<br />
It probably won't look as good on me as on the mannequin, but it's still gorgeous. I'm looking forward to parading it in public and anticipate further compliments and whatnot to follow.Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-22185858243851497552019-08-26T10:43:00.001+01:002019-08-26T10:46:14.093+01:00Two flags.As a sequel to the <em>non-binary umbrella</em>, featured in my <a href="https://malefemme.blogspot.com/2019/07/the-non-binary-umbrella.html">previous post</a>, here now is the <em>genderqueer flag</em>:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WiiugP3AneQ/XWOmFGcv57I/AAAAAAAAAoQ/1gM09HKF7a8Aq7XAfu3nOxHDUjpjRUD3ACLcBGAs/s1600/genderqueerflag.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WiiugP3AneQ/XWOmFGcv57I/AAAAAAAAAoQ/1gM09HKF7a8Aq7XAfu3nOxHDUjpjRUD3ACLcBGAs/s320/genderqueerflag.png" width="320" height="192" data-original-width="1153" data-original-height="692" /></a><br />
<br />
As with the chronological equidistance of non-binary day, the genderqueer flag too has a pleasing mathematical derivation, based on hexadecimal inverses, as explained at <a href="https://genderqueerid.com/about-flag">genderqueerid.com</a>:<br />
<br />
<em>The design [by Marilyn Roxie] is aesthetically similar to the gay and lesbian, bisexual, transgender, asexual, and pansexual flags; that is, horizontal bars of color with special meaning. The meaning of the colors in the genderqueer and non-binary flag design are as follows:<br />
<br />
Lavender (#b57edc): The mixture of blue and pink (traditional colors associated with men and women, present on the transgender pride flag) as lavender is meant to represent androgynes and androgyny. Also represents the “queer” in genderqueer, as lavender is a color that has long been associated with “queerness” , including gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities.<br />
<br />
White (#ffffff): Meant to represent agender identity, congruent with the gender neutral white on the transgender pride flag.<br />
<br />
Dark chartreuse green (#4A8123): The inverse of lavender; meant to represent those whose identities which are defined outside of and without reference to the binary. The color is the true inverse of lavender.</em><br />
<br />
As it happens I have a new t-shirt with the wording “THEY THEM THEIRS” in those specific colours. I wore it, along with my humming bird boots, at Nottingham Pride last month. At which there was another flag:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2PZDimGhzUo/XWOmXKLWfEI/AAAAAAAAAoc/3yfwoZ2JWUkueKuQJEbK2O0kxVz_rlrGACLcBGAs/s1600/transgenderflag.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2PZDimGhzUo/XWOmXKLWfEI/AAAAAAAAAoc/3yfwoZ2JWUkueKuQJEbK2O0kxVz_rlrGACLcBGAs/s400/transgenderflag.jpg" width="400" height="400" data-original-width="960" data-original-height="960" /></a><br />
<br />
That flag took three days to make and is – or at least was – the largest transgender flag in existence. Isn't it awesome! :)Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-44832790821370163972019-07-22T14:06:00.000+01:002019-07-22T14:10:25.275+01:00The non-binary umbrella.July 14th last was – as well as the 230th <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastille_Day">Bastille Day</a> (or 231st, if the first one counts) – the eighth <em>Non-Binary People’s Day</em>. The date was chosen due to its equidistance (128 days either way) from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day">International Women's Day</a> (March 8th) and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Men%27s_Day">International Men's Day</a> (November 19th).<br />
<br />
To celebrate NBPD, Sue Kerr, at the Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents blog, <a href="https://www.pghlesbian.com/2019/07/happy-international-non-binary-peoples-day-with-the-nonbinary-umbrella/">posted</a> (as many other people doubtless did) a picture of Srinidhi Seshadri's <em>NonBinary Umbrella</em>.<br />
<br />
Right click, Sa<u>v</u>e Image As...<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VLe8XTF8Du8/XTWuwxtp4QI/AAAAAAAAAnY/Tfly3RLvzlkFmlmuHph9k-TW9WQZB5_tgCLcBGAs/s1600/umbrella.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VLe8XTF8Du8/XTWuwxtp4QI/AAAAAAAAAnY/Tfly3RLvzlkFmlmuHph9k-TW9WQZB5_tgCLcBGAs/s400/umbrella.jpg" width="400" height="308" data-original-width="1247" data-original-height="960" /></a><br />
<br />
Okay, you might consider the “gender non-conforming” bubble to be pushing at the boundaries of non-binary somewhat. Pretty much everyone is gender non-conforming to some degree, and that gender non-conformity doesn't mean they're all non-binary. They're not.<br />
<br />
But that's the thing about metaphorical umbrellas. You're not compelled to stand under them, yet they shelter whomsoever chooses to do so, without fear or favour. So if a gender non-conforming person <em>wants</em> to stand under this particular umbrella, the open-ended inclusivity of its description indicates that they can.<br />
<br />
As for me, looking at once to the genderqueer bubble – the definition there isn't one I'd use. I prefer it looser, as in my post from <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/genderqueer.html">2015</a>: <em>someone whose gender is "queer" in some way, without specifying how</em>. Then I read the non-binary headline and its “neither entirely male nor entirely female”.<br />
<br />
Hitherto, I've <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/non-binary.html">ummed</a> and <a href="http://malefemme.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/border-territories.html">ahed</a> about claiming a non-binary identity, seeing it as a not-<em>at-all</em>-binary type thing. So the words “not entirely” are like a gift. So yes, still a bit binary, still male, partially, sort of, but no, not <em>entirely</em>.<br />
<br />
That suits me just fine :)Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-21942537623278546112019-06-11T08:27:00.000+01:002019-06-11T08:28:58.359+01:00Cross-posting.I was rather pleased with that title, which opens up all sorts of blog-relevant double meanings. Except that the literal sense in which I actually meant it is not what it actually means:<br />
<br />
“<em>Crossposting is the act of posting the same message to multiple information channels</em>,” says <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossposting">Wikipedia</a>. “<em>This is distinct from multiposting, which is the posting of separate identical messages, individually, to each channel.</em>”<br />
<br />
Right, so I'm not doing either of those because this isn't the same message, either posted at the same time or separately. Am I boosting? Apparently not, because you pay for that. Hmmm.<br />
<br />
Well, anyway...<br />
<br />
I recently posted something on my chess blog and thought I'd now flag (?) it here as well. It's a piece entitled ‘<a href="https://200opengames.blogspot.com/2019/06/050-transvestite-attack.html">The Transvestite Attack</a>’.<br />
<br />
That might have all sorts of blog-relevant double meanings too. But it doesn't really. It's about chess. Mostly. Partly.<br />
<br />
Have a look and you'll perhaps then see what I mean :)Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665598552477308153.post-2541887263874921422019-05-31T14:21:00.000+01:002019-06-01T07:45:52.789+01:00Feeling invisible.Last Friday we went to famous relative's surprise 80th birthday party in Bolton. “Rainbow Glamour! Wear something appropriately colourful,” his PA Louise said. So I dressed like this:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MiKz9n_lL3U/XPEkKTZcvDI/AAAAAAAAAlE/9V88MyMwzwMbpI_ogXwxnvmpHGtAUXjmwCLcBGAs/s1600/howfemme1.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MiKz9n_lL3U/XPEkKTZcvDI/AAAAAAAAAlE/9V88MyMwzwMbpI_ogXwxnvmpHGtAUXjmwCLcBGAs/s400/howfemme1.jpg" width="181" height="400" data-original-width="725" data-original-height="1600" /></a><br />
<br />
A rainbow feather boa is about as rainbow glamorous as I can manage (apart from a lollipop skirt anyway). A lot of the guests didn't bother. I guess being world-famous actors and suchlike feels glamorous enough already without needing to dress it up as well. Family tried a bit harder:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CcjvpWDVwmg/XPEkgCGexVI/AAAAAAAAAlU/yOwwC-pEUfYArs7Ac6VFoBpUJ9e4jz2uQCLcBGAs/s1600/ian80.jpeg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CcjvpWDVwmg/XPEkgCGexVI/AAAAAAAAAlU/yOwwC-pEUfYArs7Ac6VFoBpUJ9e4jz2uQCLcBGAs/s400/ian80.jpeg" width="400" height="300" data-original-width="640" data-original-height="480" /></a><br />
<br />
Front (by relationship to X): first cousin, nephew's wife, X, niece's husband, niece, grand-nephew's wife. Behind: first cousin once removed, grand-nephew, grand-nephew's wife, grand-nephew. Photo: nephew. (I'm not sure where brother-in-law had gotten to.)<br />
<br />
Several people said they liked my jumper. One guy liked it so much that he took to stroking it (me) whenever he walked past our table. Okay. But that's not what's got me thinking.<br />
<br />
I'm looking at the top picture again and wondering: pink shoes, pink jeans, fluffy red jumper (I don't wear the boa too often, just at Pride really) – what do other people see when they look at me?<br />
<br />
It's not something you ever ask, is it? “How do you see me?” And if you did ask, people aren't primed to answer questions like that. Mostly I just get compliments about what I'm wearing, which are always nice. But what do they actually <em>see</em>?<br />
<br />
Do I look: Weird? Queer? Ridiculous? Gay? Trans? Femme? And if so, <em>how</em> femme? On a scale from 1 to 10.<br />
<br />
Well, as long as people aren't abusive, I don't particularly mind what they think they see. But it'd be nice to know all the same. I'm currently feeling a bit invisible :/Jonathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147186679298442560noreply@blogger.com2